Leaders have been called on to listen more, but you take that a step farther by telling us to listen without labels. How does listening without labels change outcomes? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
Answer by Brad Deutser, Deutser CEO, Creative Strategist, Author of Belonging Rules, on Quora:
Listening begins the process of moving toward being more open and more inclusive of others, their concerns, and ideas. But when we’re applying labels while listening, we’re adding our own narrative to our intake of the information by adding a filter that swiftly allows us to categorize information as a label. It can be any label. That filter now has us running our own script, projecting our ideas, and evaluating what is said, even preparing our rebuttal, while affirming that the person was heard. But were they? Listening without labels requires us to hear what is actually spoken, without judgment, while engaging the unspoken, such as body language and demeanor, with humanity and heart. In other words, it requires us to take in the whole of what is shared while taming our natural inclination to translate and add meaning. When we listen without labels, we hear what someone is attempting to express, which allows for a more honest and complete conversation, that is enhanced by more genuine nuance. Listening without labels invites others inside, ensuring a chance to be heard and understood – even if we don’t agree. When we label too quickly, we often redirect understanding inhibit real conversation.
Labels grow out of our need to quickly characterize or group together certain ideas, commonalities, or aggregated understandings. We all know what it feels like to be listened to in a genuine way. It enables feelings of being seen, heard, valued, and accepted, even in disagreement. Listening without labels creates the space for heartfelt, honest, and impactful conversations that drive the changes we truly need, because everyone in the room feels invited to share and challenge. It may take you some time and likely will require some effort to shed and release the collection of labels you’ve stored over your lifetime. I promise it is worth and is one of the most human-centered considerations we can give another person. When people feel heard, it creates a connection that can lead to trust and relationship, the beginnings of belonging.
This question originally appeared on Quora – the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
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